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…It’s Human Nature July 11, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in On the Homefront.
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Of course I spent the last week following the coverage of Michael Jackson’s death.

Like many people, it was a surprisingly emotional time for me. Funny, but I had almost forgotten just how much Michael Jackson and his music had meant to me as a child and young person. I had also forgotten just how many great songs he sang! So much of my image of this man had been overshadowed; first by his strange physical transformation, secondly by the circus surrounding the molestation allegations.

But the coverage of his death brought back many vivid memories of my childhood adoration of  The Jackson 5. Some younger people (and many non-blacks) may never understand what it was like back then – as a black child in a predominantly white setting – to watch not only someone who looked like me , but who was also around my age, dancing and singing up a storm on TV! So talented! So cute! So publically appreciated.

It was like the Jacksons were cousins we simply hadn’t met yet; that’s how close we felt to them. That is, of course, when we were secretly (ok, maybe not so secretly) smitten with one or more of the Jackson boys. Michael is a year younger than me, so he wasn’t the object of my affection. I was nuts about Jackie, and – just in case he thought I was too young – would have readily accepted Tito as runner up.

I remember going to the Grant’s 5 & 10 that used to be located in a small mall where we lived in Willow Grove, Pennsylvania, to check out the newest singles. Yes, 45’s! My sister and I used to carry our allowance up there, and ABC was one of the 1st Jackson 5 singles we bought.  I also remember having pictures of the Jackson 5 hanging on the walls of the room my younger sister and I shared, and at night – long past our bedtime – we would listen to their music turned down low on our little battery-operated record player/radio, so our parents couldn’t hear it from the living room.

In my teens my musical taste changed, and I was more likely to be found listening to Elton John or David Bowie than Mowtown.  Still, who could take their eyes (or ears) off of Michael? Off The Wall and Thriller were released, and – on his own – it was easy to see that Michael was destined to keep the world at attention.

Yes, the hits kept coming – but each new musical success was now mixed in with something darker and more sinister. Oh, I could easily forgive him the 1st surgeries (though I know some were already irate about those early nose jobs), but the tales of his strange behavior – the chimp, the oxygen chamber, the overblown extravagance of Neverland – hung in the air like a bad smell. Even his many humanitarian efforts (e.g. “We Are The World”) never quite blew that stench out of the room.

Looking back we now all know this is when things began their long winding spin out of control.

Did Michael Jackson have a skin disease and lupus or did he just hate being black? Was Michael Jackson exploited and abused by his father and left unprotected by his mother?  Was he being honest about the paternity of his children? And – most troubling of all – did Michael cross the line with any young boys or was he set up by yet more people out to live off his celebrity and fame?

Though there will be those who go on arguing all of the questions above as they try to deify or demonize him, in the end, none of it really matters anymore. Parents have lost their son. A family has lost their brother. Three  children have lost their beloved father.

And the world has lost its talented, sensitive and often misunderstood King of Pop.

Summer’s Mini-Office July 6, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in On the Homefront.
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Since my last post I have been dealing with several issues. Not all bad; not all good. I did have the opportunity to visit with my family in the States, though, which definitely falls on the positive side.

Because the weather has been hot and sunny so much of the time, I have been able to temporarily pitch my tent on the balcony most days. It’s a wonderful place to work. I usually only hear the birds and whatever I may have on low in the background on my computer.

It rained yesterday evening and this afternoon, so I am back in the office. That just means that it’ll be cooler tomorrow morning – all the better for working outside again tomorrow!

SANY1006

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Poem – Derek Walcott May 21, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in Connecting with the Past, God Bless the Child, On the Homefront, Potpourri.
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Spring 2009 064

I haven’t thought about the fact that I don’t copy any of my own poetry here. Except one. A long time ago. I had planned to do just that and comment on how I remember my frame of mind when I wrote it and/or what the poem means to me today.

But just now I looked over at the window sill behind me and a poem I framed several years ago caught my eye. I framed it because it resonated with me then. It resonated with my soul’s best intentions. It used to hang on the wall in my apartment in Düsseldorf; now it sits in its frame on my window sill along with a statuette of a dancer, a small plant, a candle and some cards.

This poem is taken from Derek Walcott’s “Collected Poems 1948 – 1984″

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome.

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, who you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the lover letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Peonies May 20, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in On the Homefront, The Green Thumb Chronicles.
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Spring 2009 056

Peonies

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Irises

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Gerbera Daisies Boxed for the Bedroom Window

The last few weeks have been a watershed of emotions for me both professionally and privately. I am not really sure where my head is right now. I feel bogged down and entangled in so many things. But I will be taking a time-out to the States to deal with some things. I hope I will achieve some clarity on the most important and pressing issues, as well as the inner peace just to ‘Let go and let God’ where all things are concerned.

I don’t know who I will see while I am gone other than immediate family members. I will get in touch with some folks, though, and try to at least talk with them on the phone.

Otherwise… soul searching

More from the Garden April 9, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in The Green Thumb Chronicles.
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Garden (April 2009) April 4, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in Potpourri.
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I have promised myself to keep a better documentation of the progress we make in the garden this year. After having worked in the garden on average one hour a day this week, these are some of the first pix of the pulsatilla and the ranunculus:

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEAN!!! April 3, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in Potpourri.
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me-sean

Dear Sean,

Today is your 24th birthday, and I just want you to know how much I love you and that I am proud of you. Always.

Enjoy your day – and have a spectacularly blessed year! You deserve it!

Much love,

Mama

When Size Matters March 24, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in Potpourri.
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What I’m Listening To Now March 17, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in On the Homefront, Potpourri.
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Melancholy and frustrating day. This is the perfect companion piece. I was turned on to Anthony and the Johnsons by my Dutch friend, John. I loved this song immediately. The delicate voice. The pensive lyrics.

I lost my MP3’s the this album when my laptop blew up last year, but had thought about it this past week. Thanks to a former colleague for inadvertently reminding me….

Finally: Some Katt Williams Comedy that’s (almost) SFW March 7, 2009

Posted by caratime2 in On the Homefront, Potpourri.
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Ok, I admit that Katt Williams is one of my guilty comedy pleasures. Although I don’t approve of his language (i.e. continual use of the notorious n-word), I think he is so on-point on some many things.

Still, I have hesitated to put any clips of his on my blog, because I didn’t want it to seem like I condoned the language, per se. But now I’ve found a clip of him performing at a BET awards show, where he’s obviously been asked to clean up his language. Now all I need to know is why BET has problems with a comedian using the n-word, but not with using the b-word….

Enjoy!